"I gotta pump"

Those are the words that come out of my mouth too many times a day.

One time after cleaning and getting all my pumping stuff ready, I threw it on the couch by my pump and ran to the bathroom...when I came out Bastien was holding both little pumpamajiggers on his chest like I would, and I said "what are you doing?" and he's all "Gotta pump". That's when I realized how much I say that!

So yeah..still pumping exclusively. The whole nursing thing didnt work out and I was tired of torturing myself and going back and forth with my decision was stressing me out. I finally just decided to stick to what I was doing. And it's crazy cause my supply actually went up. Alot. They eat about 5 times a day(and night) and drink 5-7 oz each feeding. I just pump right after they eat...while they are sitting there, content with a full belly. I usually get 6-9 oz total each time...and it only takes 10-15 minutes! (I get 12-14 oz in the morning!) That's not enough to split between the two of them obviously. But what I do is feed them a bottle of formula at 4 or 5 in the am when they wake up. And after they go to bed I pump and store that in the fridge to help add to their bottles the next day. So, basically they are getting all breastmilk during the day and their nightime bottle is half formula and their morning bottle is all formula. I still feel like a failure in some ways because I told myself I was going to nurse this time no matter what, but at least they are still getting breastmilk , right? Also, they seem to take formula much better than Bastien ever did and this was the main reason I was determined to BF in the first place...cause I didnt want them to be as gassy as bastien was. Anyways, I know most people BF for like a year or something but I cannot imagine myself pumping for a year. My goal is 6, maybe 7 months. And they'll be 3 months in a week so I'm almost halfway there. Anyways, I'm pretty sure this is all boring you to tears..so I'll go......I gotta pump anyways. :)